Working, living, and laughing in unpredictable times
Dad sank heavily into his armchair, tie loosen but with his work clothes still on, sighs and says, “what would you girls do if daddy died”? My younger sister pipes up, “well, mommy will have to buy a new one”. The entire exchange hit my stomach so hard that I was speechless.
Wild thoughts were running through my head. Being 10 years older at 13, I recognize the weariness and worry in dad’s voice. Something’s seriously wrong. Is it his health, work, something else or a combination of them? Did we do something bad?
Honestly, I don’t remember the rest of the conversation, and somehow that pivotal moment passed. It took years before I sorted out what triggered our father to wonder out loud about his demise with his young children, seemingly out of the blue. He was straining in his business to provide for his six children, wife and other relatives, while his wife, our mother was in England settling our sister into her school.
Just then, a dramatic increase in the use of technology in financial services was forcing companies who wanted to survive the transformation to invest enormous amount of resources to upgrade. Being an entrepreneur in a sector that is growingly taken over by large corporations with deep pockets, he struggled daily to keep the company going to feed his hungry kids and relatives. No wonder he was mulling over the various possible scenarios, including his death. Uncertain times indeed.
We are faced with similar weighty challenges in today’s period of even more rapid change. How we manage the challenges is the key to how we can survive and thrive.
First is to acknowledge that we’re living in a turbulent era. Just by recognizing the current situation is already helpful to your nervous system. That assures your mind and body that there are reasons for your unease so you can start dealing with the issues.
Before you jump into action, take a deep breath and pause. Ask, what are my most important concerns? Oftentimes when you are confronted with many urgent “to dos” and it is easy to be pulled into them instead of handling the crucial matters.
Know your life purpose and long-term goals so you can focus on what’s important, even though there are many conflicting demands for your attention. If your priorities are hazy, it would be very easy to be sucked into spending precious time, energy and resources on whatever figuratively or literarily is calling out the loudest. Devote the time to anchor your perspective and judgement on what matters the most to you. Decisions made from that standpoint will produce the long-term satisfying results.
Next, assess the overall state of affairs. List the issues and prioritize them based on importance and not urgency. Unimportant urgent tasks can either be delegated or left undone; oftentimes they go away without much lasting effect. Develop next steps and who and what you can engage to move the process along. What is your timeline? What are your indicators to know if you are moving towards your goals? With your preparation and strategy outlined, you are more relaxed and can more comfortably and calmly go into action.
In my dad’s case, he sorted out his priorities, with no assist from his young and unworldly daughters. Hopefully our love and devotion, despite my sister’s piercing and unintentional remark, helped to sustain him during those stormy times. He collaborated with other financial organizations and developed means to adopt the costly and necessary changes to be effective in the electronic age. There were many late family dinners and travel days away while he sweated through the transitions. Somehow, he still managed to show up for the big family events, choir performances, exhibitions and graduations. He sorted out what he most valued and attended to them. I am forever grateful.
Thriving in uncertain times is possible when we pause, assess, focus on what’s important, and then follow through. You can do it; I’m rooting for you.
P.S. For more tips and stories, please read Marilyn’s blog on how to thrive in chaos, and in this blog on how to lead in fast changing times.
Marilyn Tam
Marilyn Tam is an international selling author, speaker, entrepreneur, humanitarian and former CEO of Aveda, president of Reebok Apparel Products & Retail Group and vp of Nike and the founder and executive director of Us Foundation. She is a regular blogger on Huffington Post. Get free gifts and insights and find out about Marilyn Tam on her website, www.marilyntam.com/books.html or connect with her on Facebook. Her latest book,The Happiness Choiceshows how you can live a life of happiness, health and success. It’s her way of giving back to the world for all the blessings she’s received.The Happiness Choice tells the stories and insights from Marilyn and many experts, including Jack Canfield, Joan Borysenko, Harville Hendrix, Arielle Ford and others, on how to live the life of your dreams. The book was ranked #3 top business book, and won the Silver Medal in the Global eBook Awards.